If I knew...
by Anna5
Summary: When Chakotay reads an old poem, he finally realizes his love for Kathryn. (I know this has probably been done before, but I just had to do it anyway)**Added Chapter 2**
1. Default Chapter

**If I knew… **

**Author: **GalaxyCaptain (Okay, it's my pen-name) J  
**Disclaimer: **They do not belong to me!! Honest. Paramount is the big owner. Also I don't own the poem I use. (That leaves very little for me, doesn't it?)  
**Rated: **PG   
**Summary: **Chakotay finally realizes that he loves Kathryn when he reads an old poem.  
**Thanks: **Because I didn't write the poem and have no idea who did, I wanna thank my friend, Helen for sending it to me… Thanks a lot!  
**Author's note:** Okay, this is the first fan fiction story that I actually post on the internet! I know it isn't one of those award winning things, but I like it anyway. I took out few chapters from the poem but you can see the whole by scrolling down to the end of the story.  
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Chakotay had been going through the database, looking for something to read when he had come across an old poem. Usually he wasn't interested in poems, but something about it made him read it. While he did that, something made him realize what he had denied for years. Yes, he was in love with his Captain.   
_  
__If I knew it would be the last time  
that I'd see you fall asleep,  
I would tuck you in more tightly  
and pray the lord, your soul to keep.  
  
_New Earth... he couldn't remember how often he had watched her sleep. Usually, Kathryn went to bed before him and always when she'd fallen asleep he just stood and watched her. He remembered how scared he had been when the plasma storm had hit and she had still been out in the forest. He was afraid that he might never see her again_. _The feeling that he'd been denying for more than two years already came back there, stronger than ever.  
_   
If I knew it would be the last time  
that I see you walk out the door,  
I would give you a hug and kiss  
and call you back for one more.  
  
_Whenever she left Voyager after they returned from New Earth, the feeling had come back. Because he'd always denied it, he wasn't sure why he was feeling the way he did and even once had the Doctor check him out. But the Doc hadn't found anything wrong. And amazingly, always when she returned back, the feeling disappeared. He still hadn't realized the connection. _  
  
If I knew it would be the last time  
I'd hear your voice lifted up in phrase,  
I would videotape each action and word,  
so I could play them back day after day.  
  
_Chakotay remembered when he had seen Kathryn for the first time. It had been right after they all had been taken into the Delta Quadrant against their will. He remembered how the hair on the back of his head rose when he heard her voice. There just had been something about her that prevented him from hating her, like he would normally do with any other captain that would have been sent after him. _  
  
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,  
young or old alike,  
And today may be the last change you get  
to hold your loved one tight...  
  
_He remembered when she died in his arms. He had yelled at her to breath but she hadn't. That was the first time he'd cried since he was a little boy. He remembered how he held her lifeless body in his arms, screaming at her to come back. When the Doctor arrived, he was able to revive her. But the battle wasn't over, an alien had invited her mind and was threatening her life once again. It had taken her quite a while to regain consciousness but that moment had been the happiest in Chakotay's life. _  
  
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,  
why not do it today?  
For if tomorrow never comes,  
You'll surely regret the day  
That you didn't take that extra time  
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss  
and you were too busy to grant someone,  
what turned out to be their one last wish.  
  
_....Waiting for tomorrow, why not do it today? For if tomorrow never comes, You'll surely regret the day...... When he'd finish reading that verse, it hit him. He was in love. All those weird feelings he'd experienced over the years suddenly made sense. He wrote the that particular verse down on a PADD and saved. It was the one that made him realize his feelings, it was the one that he would show Kathryn an hoped it would make her realize hers too._   
  
So hold your loved ones close today,  
whisper in their ear,  
Tell them how much you love them  
and that you'll always hold them dear,  
  
Take time to say "I'm sorry, please forgive me,"  
"Thank you" or "It's okay".  
And if tomorrow never comes,  
you'll have no regrets about today.  
_   
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**The full version of the poem...  
  
**If I knew it would be the last time  
that I'd see you fall asleep,  
I would tuck you in more tightly  
and pray the lord, your soul to keep.  
  
If I knew it would be the last time  
that I see you walk out the door,  
I would give you a hug and kiss  
and call you back for one more.  
  
If I knew it would be the last time  
I'd hear your voice lifted up in phrase,  
I would videotape each action and word,  
so I could play them bak day after day.  
  
If I knew it would be the last time,  
I could spare an extra minute or two  
to stop and say I love you,  
instead of assuming you would KNOW I do.  
  
If I knew it would be the last time  
I would be there to share your day,  
well I'm sure you'll have so many more,  
so I can let just this one slip away.  
  
For surely there's always tomorrow  
to make up for oversight,  
and we always get a second chance  
to make everything right.  
  
There will always be another day  
to say our I love you's  
And certainly there's another change  
to say our "Anything I can do's?"  
  
But in case I might be wrong,  
and today is all I get,  
I'd like to say how much I love you  
and I hope we never forget.  
  
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,  
young or old alike,  
And today may be the last change you get  
to hold your loved one tight...  
  
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,  
why not do it today?  
For if tomorrow never comes,  
You'll surely regret the day  
  
That you didn't take that extra time  
for a smile, a hug, or a kiss  
and you were too busy to grant someone,  
what turned out to be their one last wish.  
  
So hold your loved ones close today,  
whisper in their ear,  
Tell them how much you love them  
and that you'll always hold them dear,  
  
Take time to say "I'm sorry, please forgive me,"  
"Thank you" or "It's okay".  
And if tomorrow never comes,  
you'll have no regrets about today.**  
**   
Back


	2. Chapter 2

**If I knew...  
Part 2**

**Author: **GalaxyCaptain  
**Disclaimer: **They do not belong to me!! Honest. Paramount is the big owner.   
**Summary: **Read the summary in part 1.  
**Author's Note: **I didn't plan to write a sequel but those two on FF.Net asked me and I also got e-mails asking me to do it. I hope you like it as well as part 1. I used a part of the poem again now, but you can find the full version in part 1.  
**Please Visit My J/C website: **http://www.spanisheyes.nu/galaxy

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Talent night! Why on earth did she agree to allow Neelix to hold them? Captain Kathryn Janeway thought. The next talent night was scheduled in one week and now it was a special one. Neelix had made everyone draw a piece of paper and everyone who got YES where to perform. She was sure that he messed up with the pieces because everyone of the senior staff where now scheduled to appear. "I have to talk to Neelix about this" She thought but then told her self out loud "But maybe it will be fun seeing them making a total fool of themselves" As soon as she had finished her sentence she realized something. "Oh shit… I have to perform as well"  
  
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"So, what are you going to do?" B'Elanna asked Chakotay when se sat down beside him in the Mess hall.

"On talent night? Oh that's a secret" He answered her and smiled.

"Come on old man" She said "Tell me, I promise not to tell"

"No, my lips are sealed. It's going to be a surprise" He answered and stood up. "I'm due on the Bridge, so I'll see you later" 

Few minuets after Chakotay left, the Captain came in and when B'Elanna saw her she called out to her "Captain, why don't you sit here" When she sat down B'Elanna asked her the same question she had asked Chakotay "So, what are you going to do on talent night?"

"I honestly have no idea. I can't believe that I even agreed to this" 

"I've tried to ask Tom, Harry, Seven, The Doctor, Chakotay and even Tuvok but nobody wants to tell me what they're going to do. I haven't decided my-self." B'Elanna told her. 

"The last one was easy. I just did a little ballet piece and it was the hit of the evening" Janeway said, remembering the dying swan dance she had done. "Now I'm just dead in the water, so to speak" 

"Make that two of us" B'Elanna told her and smiled.  
  
--------------------------------  
  
Tonight would be the night. Two weeks ago Chakotay read an poem. Two weeks ago, he realized that he loved her. Tonight he would tell her. It hadn't been difficult for him to decide what to do, in fact, it had been surprisingly easy. The poem he'd found, he was going to read that and tell the angry warrior legend.   
  
Tuvok had been the first one up. He had done some meditation thing. Seven had been up next with the doctor. They sung a duet from a 20th century movie called Grease. It had actually been really fun and the audience had gone wild . Tom had been up next, he had apparently lost a bet with B'Elanna and was dressed as a clown and did some juggling and other clown stuff. He also had to sing some children song. B'Elanna and Kathryn where up next. Kathryn hypnotized B'Elanna and made her tell everyone her innermost feelings and secrets, the audience didn't know what to think when the act was done. They actually admitted after their act that it had all been made up.   
  
He was the last one on stage.   
  
"Now, last on stage this evening. None other that Voyager's first officer, Commander Chakotay!" He heard Neelix introduce him to the audience. He walked up on the stage.  
  
"Good evening" He said to the audience "I'm going to tell you an ancient legend. I've only told this to one other member of this crew before." He said and then continued "And I would like to ask that particular crewmember to step up here on the stage when I'm done" Some light music could be heard and Chakotay started to read.  
  
"There is an ancient legend among my people. It is about an angry warrior who lived his life in conflict with the rest of his tribe. A man who couldn't find peace, even with the help of his spirit guide. For years he struggled with his discontent. The only satisfaction he ever got came when he was in battle. This made him a hero among his tribe, but the warrior still longed for peace within himself. One day, he has his war party were captured by a neighboring tribe led by a woman warrior. She called on him to join her because her own tribe was too small and too weak to defend itself from all its enemies. The woman warrior was brave, and beautiful. And very wise. The angry warrior swore to himself that he would stay by her side, doing whatever he could to make her burden lighter. From that point on, her needs would come first. And in that way the warrior began to know the true meaning of peace."   
  
When he finished telling the legend, he noticed that most of audience where, well they where amazed by it. Just like Kathryn had been. He had never told anyone besides from Kathryn it before. Then the audience started to cheer wildly.   
  
"I'm not done yet" He said to the cheering audience "Now I would like to ask Captain Janeway to step up here to join me"   
  
When she came up on the stage, Chakotay told her to stand in front of him, facing the audience. Then he began to read again.   
  
If I knew it would be the last time  
I would be there to share your day,  
well I'm sure you'll have so many more,  
so I can let just this one slip away.  
  
For surely there's always tomorrow  
to make up for oversight,  
and we always get a second chance  
to make everything right.  
  
There will always be another day  
to say our I love you's  
And certainly there's another change  
to say our "Anything I can do's?"  
  
But in case I might be wrong,  
and today is all I get,  
I'd like to say how much I love you  
and I hope we never forget.  
  
Tomorrow is not promised to anyone,  
young or old alike,  
And today may be the last change you get  
to hold your loved one tight...  
  
So if you're waiting for tomorrow,  
why not do it today?  
For if tomorrow never comes,  
You'll surely regret the day  
  
When he finished, the audience was frozen. They knew that they just witnessed their First Officer admit his love for their Captain.   
  
"I should have known" B'Elanna told her self "I should have known he was about to do that..." She was cut off from her thoughts when she heard everyone around her gasp.   
  
Yes, they where kissing on stage, in front of the whole crew. They where finally together.  


**THE END**  
  



End file.
